The energy is palpable at the moment. It’s not all bad, but it’s certainly not all good. Many are feeling fatigued, depleted and lacking motivation.
It’s only February.
I’ve made a few big changes in my diet and lifestyle recently, not least my decision to remove caffeine (I know, I know. It seemed like a good idea at the time!), that has resulted in a couple of weeks where I’ve been a little sensitive and vulnerable to what we have come to know as the ‘new normal’ daily load.
Last weekend, after a big day in salon on Saturday, and a long week of juggling it all, I awoke Sunday morning and found myself in a stream of tears.
Lying in bed, I just let myself have a good old cry. Gosh it felt good. It was a much needed release.
An energy outlet of so much stored concern, worry, responsibility, unknown. Years now, of operating in a constant state of fluidity, acceptance and resilience. Years of having to have armour on. Of needing to be brave.
I lay there a while, and it suddenly dawned on me that I couldn’t remember the last time I had done that; just cried for no particular reason.
No physical pain present. I hadn’t broken a limb. Wasn’t suffering from a broken heart. Just a big, heavy, full hearted cry.
Sure, we all did it as kids and teenagers. Outbursts and emotional roller coasters were ‘allowed’ then and we were able to freely express ALL of the feelings.
As a young adult I remember often allowing myself to feel things deeply and would have a cry every now and then. I laughed as I lay there remembering the questions my ex’s would ask as they got to know me. ‘What’s wrong’ they’d say in concern. My reply. ‘Nothing in particular, I’m just a cryer. That’s how I release’.
Fast forward to my current situation and I can’t believe how little time I give myself to process and really feel what’s going on around me these days. It often gets put to the side and considered not a priority.
It can’t be outsourced.
We can’t give this job to ‘Alexa’.
This weeks conversations consisted once again of people feeling like they don’t have much left in their tank. Like they’ve got life vests on everyone else and are now frantically trying to get their own on.
It’s all a bit back to front and upside down when we look at it like that isn’t it!?
I read an article that described how a psychologist in the UK had put a call out in her local fb parents group for a scream meet in the local park. These parents who had been holding it all together for so long, for themselves, their families, in extremely difficult times, met up at a park, gave each other a knowing nod of support and screamed into the open air in some kind of carthatic exhale. They aren’t alone.
There are so many similar stories of strangers coming together and creating outlets for the heavy emotions we all currently harbour. An upside to this crazy covid ride, is that many people have been reminded of their humanity.
I share openly with my clients what I am going though because that gives them an opportunity to share and express themselves too. To feel safe and not judged. Heard. In doing so, I receive the same.
This week certainly did that. Story after story of people who found themselves in moments of utter exhaustion and overwhelm; that their only reaction was to drop and cry when they were by themselves. The problem is, those moments of solitude are rare.
A few things came up in these conversations.
Have we stopped giving ourselves permission to express our tiredness, sadness and frustration because we ‘don’t have time’?
When did you last give yourself the space to have a cry when you felt like it ‘just because’?.
At what age did we stop listening to how we felt and just kept pushing through because the responsibility to hold it together somehow overrode our responsibility to ourselves to make sure we are ok?
Every single chat in the chair this week, that took this course, ended with the shared conclusion that we need to give ourselves more space to feel the feels and express them. Process them. Release them. Clear the air so we aren’t holding onto it all from day to day, allowing it to build up.
That a good cry is forgotten therapy.
To remember, we don’t have to have it together all the time.
When did you last just sit with yourself and have a good cry!?
Maybe it’s time it got put at the top of your ‘to-do’ lists next time you feel it coming on!? …..
I’m certainly back on top of things this week and feel so much better for giving myself some grace and compassion when I needed to.
I hope you too, can give yourself that, when the time comes. X